茉莉‧衛斯理的咆哮
茉莉‧衛斯理有很多可以證明她很常生氣地咆哮的地方：燃燒似的火紅頭髮、閃閃發亮的清澈眼睛及在你說出：「才不是我女兒的錯，是你……」這句話前就開始反駁你。
《哈利波特：混血王子的背叛》
沒錯，茉莉真的是個紅髮且易怒的女王。有時候我們會希望雇用她讓我們脫離棘手又難以脫身的狀況。為了稱頌茉莉的能力，以下有一些關於她奇特、難以忘懷且鼓舞人心的咆哮。
茉莉第一次登場時，她被形容為一個有一頭閃亮紅髮且心地善良的豐滿女性。她告訴哈利如何前往九又四分之三月台，而且用關愛和溫柔照顧她的孩子們。再者，她幾乎立刻就把哈利當作自己的孩子，在哈利就讀霍格華茲的第一年就送他一件充分顯現出他特色的綠色套頭毛衣。她看起來和藹可親，就像哈利從未有過的母親。
緊接著，弗雷、喬治和榮恩偷偷開出他們父親的飛天汽車時，我們第一次看見面如鐵色的茉莉：
「榮恩的臉色突然變得慘綠，眼睛定定地望著房子發楞。其他三人連忙轉過身來。
衛斯理太太正怒沖沖地越過庭院，朝他們衝過來，把院中的肥雞嚇得四處亂竄，而對於一個又矮又胖、面孔和藹的女人來說，她居然有辦法讓自己看起來像一頭利牙森森地母老虎，這點實在是非常驚人。
『啊！』弗雷嘆道。
『喔，我的天哪！』喬治說。」《哈利波特：消失的密室》，51頁。
而這只是個暖身。
「『床是空的！連一張紙都也沒留下！車子不見了……你們可能會出車禍阿……我擔心得快要發瘋了……可是你們在乎嗎？……從來沒有，我這輩子從來沒見你們在乎過……等你們父親回家以後，看他怎麼修理你們！比爾‧查理，或是派西，就從來沒替我們找過這樣的麻煩……』」《哈利波特：消失的密室》，52頁。
我們特別喜歡就連她丈夫亞瑟也無法處理、酸味十足的挖苦。
「『……不過話說回來，看到那些被我們偷來施魔法的麻瓜玩意兒，你絕對不會相信……』
『比方說汽車是不是？』
衛斯理太太突然出現，手中像握劍似地高舉著一根長撥火鉗。衛斯理先生立刻張開眼睛。他心虛地望著他的太太。
『妳是說汽車嗎，茉莉，親愛的？』
『沒錯，亞瑟，汽車，』衛斯理太太說，她的眼中掠過一道閃光。」《哈利波特：消失的密室》，59頁。
當弗雷和喬治又為了替衛式巫師法寶店研發更多法寶而產生許多髒亂及混亂時，衛斯理太太便經常與他們發生口角。雖然我們知道這對雙胞胎最終以他們突破傳統的工作贏了他們母親的心，但吹舌太妃糖的研發階段並不是很好。
「『速速前！速速前！速速前！』她叫道，許多太妃糖立刻從喬治的夾克襯裡啦、弗雷的牛仔褲摺邊啦和各種意想不到的地方飛了出來。
『這可是我們花了六個月的時間，才好不容易做出來的欸！』弗雷在母親將太妃糖扔掉時對她喊道。
『喔，這樣消磨掉六個月還真是值得呢！』她尖叫，『難怪你們O.W.Ls考的那麼差！』
所以呢，他們出門時，家裡的氣氛並不是很好。衛斯理太太跟衛斯理先生吻別時還是滿臉怒容，但雙胞胎卻比她更氣，他們一人扛起一個帆布背包，連句話也沒跟她說就走出家門。」《哈利波特：火盃的考驗》，89頁。
如果茉莉覺得弗雷和喬治是棘手的孩子，那雙胞胎成年時就更令人愉快了。我們剛剛說「愉快」嗎？我們指的是「擔心」。
「『我的天哪！』衛斯理太太扯著嗓門大叫。『根本就沒有必要——我真的受夠了——就因為准你們使用魔法，也用不著樣樣小事都拿魔杖出來揮！』」《哈利波特：鳳凰會的密令》，103頁。
那麼當蒙當葛試圖把偷走的東西帶進古里某街時，衛斯理太太會有什麼反應？
「『我們這裡不是在開贓物蒐集站！』
『我好喜歡聽老媽對別人大吼大叫，』弗雷說，臉上掛著滿意的笑容，他將門打開了一、兩吋，好讓衛斯理太太的聲音更清晰的傳遍整個房間，『偶爾也該換人來做做倒楣鬼。』
『一點責任感都沒有，好像我們要煩心的事還不夠多，讓你這樣把偷來的大釜帶進這屋裡——』」《哈利波特：鳳凰會的密令》，127頁。
我們一定非常喜歡因為弗雷和喬治才跌下樓梯的金妮而再度被點燃的怒意。但這次，公平地說，茉莉言之有理。
「布萊克夫人和衛斯理太太同時用最高的音量尖叫起來。
『——她很可能會受重傷，你們兩個白癡——』
『——骯髒的雜種，糟蹋我先人的房子——』」《哈利波特：鳳凰會的密令》，201頁。
《哈利波特：混血王子的背叛》
當亞瑟決定嘗試用麻瓜的方式把因為佛地魔的時而受傷的皮膚縫起來時，這有可能是茉莉最棒的吼叫。事實上，我們也因為這個笑了很久……
「『聽起來像是你們想要把你的皮膚縫合起來，』衛斯理太太說，從鼻子哼出一聲冷笑，『不過就算是你，亞瑟，也不會笨到那個地步——』
『我也想去喝杯茶。』哈利說，一躍而起。
妙麗、榮恩和金妮幾乎和他同時彈到門口，當他們身後的門滑上時，他們聽見衛斯理太太的尖叫：『你告訴我，什麼叫做基本概念？』」《哈利波特：鳳凰會的密令》，563頁。
接下來換哈利承受茉莉的憤怒了。他即將退學，然後自行前往尋找分靈體並毀掉佛地魔。但茉莉，簡單來說，並不是很高興。
「『我覺得你也大可不必去！』她駁斥道，卸下了所有的偽裝。『你也不過剛成年，你們都一樣！這真是胡鬧，如果鄧不利多有工作要完成，整個鳳凰會都可以任他指派！哈利，你一定誤會了他的意思。或許他只是告訴你，他想完成某些事，你卻聽成是他要你去——』」《哈利波特：死神的聖物上》，116-117頁。
然後，茉莉有了最棒的時刻。當她在霍格華茲大戰上，用她懾人的憤怒與驚人的天賦針對貝拉‧雷斯壯時，她激烈的情緒在每個巫師、女巫和麻瓜歷歷在目。一、二、三......
「『不准碰我女兒，妳這個賤人！』」《哈利波特：死神的聖物下》，836頁。
萬歲！
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原文：
Molly Weasley’s most magnificent rants
There are few things as magnificent as Molly Weasley mid-rant: hair flaming, eyes sparkling, delivering comebacks faster than you can say ‘Not my daughter, you…’
Yes, Molly is the true queen of red-haired rage. Sometimes we wish we could hire her out to get us out of some sticky situations. To celebrate Molly’s might, here are some of her most fantastic, most memorable and truly inspirational rants.
When we first meet Molly Weasley she’s described as a plump woman with flaming red hair and a kindly heart. She helps Harry figure out how to reach platform nine and three-quarters and she treats her children with fondness and warmth. She also almost immediately adopts Harry as one of her own, sending him an iconic lovely Christmas jumper from his first year. She seems sweet and gentle, and a mother-figure for Harry, who never really had one.
Then, Fred, George and Ron nick their father’s flying car and we get our first glimpse into the steely Molly underneath…
‘Ron had gone a nasty greenish colour, his eyes fixed on the house. The other three wheeled around. Mrs Weasley was marching across the yard, scattering chickens, and for a short, plump, kind-faced woman, it was remarkable how much she looked like a sabre-toothed tiger. ‘Ah,’ said Fred. ‘Oh dear,’ said George.’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
And that’s just the warm up.
‘Beds empty! No note! Car gone ... could have crashed ... out of my mind with worry ... did you care? ... never, as long as I’ve lived ... you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy …’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
We especially love that her beloved husband Arthur also can’t quite handle Molly’s almighty scorn.
‘... but the things our lot have taken to enchanting, you wouldn’t believe –’ ‘LIKE CARS, FOR INSTANCE?’ Mrs Weasley had appeared, holding a long poker like a sword. Mr Weasley’s eyes jerked open. He stared guiltily at his wife. ‘C-cars, Molly, dear?’ ‘Yes, Arthur, cars,’ said Mrs Weasley, her eyes flashing.’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Another golden memory was during the era of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, where Mrs Weasley had frequent run-ins with Fred and George over their variety of chaos-causing inventions. Although we know the twins eventually won their mother round with their unorthodox business, the developing stages of the Ton-Tongue Toffee didn’t go well.
‘Accio! Accio! Accio!’ she shouted, and toffees zoomed from all sorts of unlikely places, including the lining of George’s jacket and the turn-ups of Fred’s jeans. ‘We spent six months developing those!’ Fred shouted at his mother, as she threw the toffees away. ‘Oh, a fine way to spend six months!’ she shrieked. ‘No wonder you didn’t get more O.W.Ls!’ All in all, the atmosphere was not very friendly as they made their departure.’
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
If Molly thought Fred and George were a handful as children, the twins’ coming of age was a joyous occasion. Did we say joyous? We meant fraught.
‘FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!’ screamed Mrs Weasley. ‘THERE WAS NO NEED – I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS – JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE ALLOWED TO USE MAGIC NOW, YOU DON’T HAVE TO WHIP YOUR WANDS OUT FOR EVERY TINY LITTLE THING!’’
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
What about that time Mundungus gets the sharp end of Mrs Weasley’s tongue when he tries to bring in stolen goods?
‘WE ARE NOT RUNNING A HIDEOUT FOR STOLEN GOODS!’ ‘I love hearing Mum shouting at someone else,’ said Fred, with a satisfied smile on his face as he opened the door an inch or so to allow Mrs Weasley’s voice to permeate the room better, ‘it makes such a nice change.’ ‘– COMPLETELY IRRESPONSIBLE, AS IF WE HAVEN’T GOT ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT WITHOUT YOU DRAGGING STOLEN CAULDRONS INTO THE HOUSE –’
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
We have to love it when Fred and George manage, once again, to land in her line of fire when they knock Ginny down the stairs. Although, to be fair, she had a point.
‘Mrs Black and Mrs Weasley were both screaming at the top of their voices. ‘– COULD HAVE DONE HER A SERIOUS INJURY, YOU IDIOTS –’ ‘– FILTHY HALF-BREEDS, BESMIRCHING THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS –’
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Probably one of the best Molly rants is when Arthur decides to try Muggle stitches on the bite he received from Voldemort’s snake. Actually, we were the ones in stitches…
‘It sounds as though you’ve been trying to sew your skin back together,’ said Mrs Weasley with a snort of mirthless laughter, ‘but even you, Arthur, wouldn’t be that stupid –’ ‘I fancy a cup of tea, too,’ said Harry, jumping to his feet. Hermione, Ron and Ginny almost sprinted to the door with him. As it swung closed behind them, they heard Mrs Weasley shriek, ‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT’S THE GENERAL IDEA?
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Next it is Harry’s turn to be at the receiving end of Molly’s ire. He is about to quit school and head out to find the Horcruxes and destroy Voldemort on his own. She is not, to say the least, amused.
‘I don’t see that you have to go, either!’ she snapped, dropping all pretence now. ‘You’re barely of age, any of you! It’s utter nonsense, if Dumbledore needed work doing, he had the whole Order at his command! Harry, you must have misunderstood him. Probably he was telling you something he wanted done, and you took it to mean that he wanted you –’
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Then, Molly hits her finest moment. She strikes a chord in every wizard, witch and Muggle when she turns her impressive anger and prodigious talent towards Bellatrix Lestrange during the Battle of Hogwarts. You know what's coming. One, two, three…
‘NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!’
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Hurray!
原文出處：Pottermore
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一時找不到第七集，如果有不同的地方可以跟我說，我會再修改(更新囉! 謝謝沐尼 @cp74
然後，同樣地，有任何不通順、不合邏輯或看不懂的地方也都可以跟我說，我會盡量修改
其實我蠻意外衛斯理太太寄咆哮信那個片段沒有被選進去的...
